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By Melissa Miller
timbrel, September-October 2004
Pondering the mystery of which items in the laundry basket are clean and which are dirty, I am struck by the irony that I’m about to lead a seminar on balance. A woman who finds herself using the same basket for laundered and dirty items may not be the best model. On the other hand, balance is not the same thing as perfection, so I offer the following thoughts, gleaned from a Canadian Women in Mission workshop held in July at Mennonite Church Canada’s 2004 assembly in Winkler, Man.
For some years I searched the scriptures for guidance to set work and volunteer boundaries. I finally concluded that the Sabbath commandment offered the teaching I sought. How can we honor the temple God has entrusted to us if we are frequently overloaded and driven to distraction?
As noted in Genesis 2:2-3, God established a weekly rhythm that includes both work and rest. Claiming our Sabbath rest reminds us that:
-- God has freed us from the oppression of slavery, including slavery to non-stop work;
-- we follow God’s model of creating and producing, then resting and savoring enjoyable companionship with our Creator;
-- God is the one who is at work bringing all of creation into God’s transforming grace; we are instruments of God’s activity, which continues on as we rest and sleep;
-- God invites us to practice self-care, which improves our health and our ability to serve God.
Repeating meaningful activities can aid our Sabbath-keeping. At our house, we gather for breakfast before church. It includes a lovely omelette, fruit, and a small piece of chocolate, served on china, with juice in a goblet. Over time, this ritual has helped us pull away from our hectic weekday routines and ease into Sabbath rest before we attend worship.
Some families read the lectionary texts at breakfast before church. My mother, who lives alone, often invites people for Sunday dinner or goes to an ice cream stand with a friend; Sabbath often means visiting with others. Each individual needs to experiment with Sabbath practices that fit. The point is to move away from “fuss and bother” and towards that which restores and uplifts.
A second resource for maintaining balance is to drink from our biblical well. Verses like Psalm 23:2-3 (“God leads me beside still waters; God restores my soul”) recall God’s grace and steadfast presence. Other verses offer comfort and hope when we are distressed and overwhelmed: “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor. 12:9).
Two exercises drawn from the Catholic tradition also have helped me in my attempts to stay balanced. The first one, called Four Rooms, offers a model for living with rooms labeled Physical, Emotional, Mental, and Spiritual; the idea is to visit each room each day, striving for a balance in the four areas. I naturally hang out in the rooms called Emotional (which for me means conversations with friends and counseling work) and Mental (reading and seminary courses). More discipline is required to visit the Physical room (for me that means walking and tai chi) and the Spiritual room (Bible study and listening to God through prayer).
In the second exercise, called the examen, two questions shape this night time reflection. Where did I experience consolation today—a sense of connection to God, life and others? When did I experience disconsolation today—cut off from God, life, and others?
Like other families, mine has adapted this exercise. Mostly it’s mundane reporting of “bests and worsts”—a high mark on a test, a frustrating meeting, a great pizza, or a relationship strain. While the overtly religious language is usually missing, I feel God’s arms wrapping around us as we claim the space to share pieces of our souls, strengthening the bonds that link us with each other and the Divine. It is sacred space. Those who live alone sometimes practice the examen with others by phone or over a weekly cup of tea.
The examen reminds us that God desires wholeness for each one of us, and for all of creation. We are called out of the craziness of the surrounding culture with its false gods of materialism, excessive consumerism, and lonely individualism. We are invited to practice God’s shalom in our hearts and in our homes.
May God bless our efforts to be balanced.
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