Seeking God's direction in times of uncertainty
By Ruth Preston Schilk
timbrel, March-April 2004
When was the last time you had a big decision to make and couldn’t determine which was the right path? Did you ever wish you could get a phone call from God with a little advice?
I had that kind of decision on my mind in the weeks before my graduation from seminary. I had applied for a pastoral position in a church thousands of kilometres across the country. If I was called to that position, how should I respond?
In such a time, the Judges 6 story of Gideon setting out a fleece is one that can either attract or repel. We may be attracted because we too want to recognize and know God’s leading for our lives. We long to experience the obviousness and certainty with which God answered Gideon.
On the other hand, we may not want to identify with Gideon or his “testing” because he continued to doubt— even when he had already been commissioned for God’s work (Judg. 6:14), been reassured of God’s presence with him (6:16), been shown a miraculous sign that it was indeed God who was speaking (6:19-22), and been clothed with the spirit of the Lord (6:34). Surely seeking yet another sign belittles the affirmation already bestowed by God on Gideon. Besides, how dare Gideon prescribe to God exactly what sign to perform!
Yet the writer of the book of Judges does not criticize Gideon for seeking two more signs nor for dictating their specific details. Perhaps we too can accept this more readily and feel less critical of Gideon when we understand that the asking of signs was common in Israelite tradition. King Ahaz was reprimanded by Isaiah for refusing to ask for a sign from God (any sign “as deep as Sheol or high as heaven”) as he had been commanded (Isa. 7:10-25).
While the text doesn’t indicate whether Gideon was alone when the fleece was first sopping wet and then dry, we know from other scriptures that God gave miraculous signs to show God’s power and elicit a response of awe and praise from the people. Surely Gideon knew that many people would see the power of the one true God when his request for a sign was answered. I’m not convinced that Gideon was testing “in order to see whether you would deliver Israel, as you have said,” but “whether you would deliver Israel by my hand, as you have said”(7:36). In other words, I don’t think Gideon doubted God; I think he doubted himself.
Scriptures tell the story of people aiding in God’s goal of salvation for the world. Gideon was not questioning God’s ability to save but his own ability in aiding the God of salvation. Isn’t that our experience, too? We trust God to lead but wonder how we fit into God’s plan. If we could only have affirmed our inner inkling (or is that indigestion?), some direction, some sense of timing, some sense if we are the one for the job. . . . In other words, as Nancy Reeves puts it in her book title, “I’d say ‘yes,’ God, if I knew what you wanted.”
God’s desire to be in partnership with humanity continues today. Perhaps we experience less dramatic signs of God than in Gideon’s day. Yet people still long to have clarity for living their lives as partners with God. Whether one boldly asks for a “sign” or humbly prays for God’s direction, the desire is the same—for a “word” from the Lord.
Gideon didn’t sit whiling away, wondering about his role. He took action. We also need to take some responsibility for discerning direction or affirmation. By this I mean that we need to go forward to meet God meeting us as we engage in such activities as prayer, scripture reading, or discerning in a clarity group or with a spiritual director.
To return to my experience, I brought my question about accepting the pastoral position to a spiritual retreat called “Praying with the Hymnal.” From a list of hymns the title, “Hear I am, Lord,” caught my attention, and in a room by myself I read it silently. Nothing. I read the hymn aloud. Nothing. I began to sing the hymn, and when I reached the line, “I will go, Lord, if you lead me,” I started to cry. Gradually, I realized that God had allowed me to sing the answer to my question. Eventually God did lead so that I was offered the pastoral position, and I agreed to take it.
While we depend on the Holy Spirit to help us recognize and interpret signs from God, I urge us to be noticing God’s movements in times of certainty so that in uncertain times, we are trained in looking for God’s leading.
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