When a women’s group first begins to meet, they do so around a common purpose. The individuals come with enthusiasm, anticipating that a group will satisfy some longing.

Over time it becomes clear that there are different understandings of that central purpose. It may be after one year or after 50, but every group comes to a point where its members need to reevaluate why they are meeting and what they want to do. This is a delicate time because it means individuals in the group must share their hopes and their disappointments, and that is not easy.

The process outlined here is based on the belief that God through the Holy Spirit is available to guide the lives of our women’s groups. In my experience, the Spirit’s direction for the future can come in a particularly strong way if the past is respectfully heard, if the present perspectives of all parties involved are respectfully heard, and if the group as a whole is ready to discern together and listen for God’s leading for the future.

Here is a process to help guide your group through the important steps of looking back and looking forward, of renewing its sense of purpose.

First, set up a time (or two) to talk together about the group’s past and future activities. Two hours would not be too long. It is often helpful to leave one time just for talking and reflecting, then let some time pass and meet again, review the discussion, and make some decisions. When these meetings are announced, inform group members of the topic of discussion, ask them to be thinking about the life of your group, and ask them to join the group’s leadership in prayer as you prepare to come together to hear each other’s thoughts. If adding new women is a goal of the group, make certain that they are invited and possibly picked up by an existing group member.

Right away, set up a second time, perhaps in one year, or three, when this process of self-reflection will occur again. This way, women may be willing to try a different direction if they are assured that there will be an accepted time in the future to voice opinions regarding the new direction.

As a leader of the discussion, be aware of some potential barriers to candid sharing. Leadership likely has come from within the group, so women may hesitate to share openly for fear that it will be interpreted as a critique of the leader, their friend. Or there may be pressure from the larger congregation to keep performing a function that the group has historically done.

Also, if women new to the group are present, the leader has an extra responsibility to make their comments, their honest comments, be welcome and accurately heard. There is even greater risk speaking as a new person with new ideas than speaking as a member of the group’s past. Many women’s new ideas have been denounced before they were considered.

Approach the discussion this way:

1. Collect material which reviews how the group has spent its time together in the past. This is an important service to the discussion, refreshing memories for everyone and providing accurate information in reference to what the group has done.

2. Prepare a comfortable environment, perhaps opening with singing and prayer, possibly with refreshments to enjoy during or after your time together.

3. Ask each woman to bring one, two, or three examples of group activities from the past that they have especially enjoyed. This is another memory stirrer, and helps to affirm the special times the group has had together in the past. Share these as a way of starting your meeting.

4. The leader could then summarize the type of group your group has been. She can ask if the group agrees with her summary. Having an accurate understanding of what the group has been makes it far easier to venture into a discussion of what your group could be in the future.

5. Invite women to share what dreams they have had or heard from others about what the group could be. You might frame this part of the discussion around a survey of needs in the community (the MW office has a resource from Church Women United that could be used in such a survey).

6. Allow enough time for all to have spoken, even if that means scheduling another meeting. Some members will not be as ready to verbalize. Gently call on women who have not spoken in the meeting, or tell women that they are free to call leaders later with their thoughts.

7. The leader can now summarize what she has heard regarding thoughts about the future. She can ask if she heard women’s comments correctly.

8. You could move now to a time of singing or prayer, to give women a rest from the hard work of listening to each other and thinking about the future.

9. Now is a particularly important time in the meeting. Often ideas for the future are a fruit of what women have heard from each other so far, both the ideas about the past and the ideas regarding the future. Ask respectfully if any new ideas or directions for the future have emerged from anyone. Hear each response carefully. Be ready to put all of them up for consideration. Don’t be afraid if some women verbalize their need to discontinue coming to the group or suggest that the group discontinue. That is a part of the discussion that needs to be allowed. Others may feel differently and voice that opinion.

Ideas about future activities that emerge should be recorded and given more thought by the group leaders. It may be best to check back with the whole group at a second meeting on future direction. Everyone will have had time to think about things. The Spirit moves between meetings as well!

10. If all or most of the women are ready to disband, that needs to be taken seriously. If there is lack of clarity about continuing, it may be helpful to disband for six months or a year, with a time scheduled to reconvene to assess the decision again.

All deliberations need to be bathed in affirmation—for the past and present life of the group, for the individual lives of the members inside the group, and for the things women are involved in outside the group. The goal is to get an accurate reading of what the Spirit may be calling the group to be. That comes only with honest sharing about where group members really are, not where they think they or the group should be!

May the Spirit bless you and keep you as you lead this important and beautiful process of group discernment.

—Susan J. Jantzen, Mennonite Women co-coordinator 1997-2000, Newton, Kan.

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